Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
