i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
