Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
