he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sorry about my life...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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