so explain again why im purple
no
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
