I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
