You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
