I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The best revenge is premature balding
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
