Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize