OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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