I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
