and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
