there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
