spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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