Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
