Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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