"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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