another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
soo... how was my night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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