I hope mine doesn't look like that
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
