She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it's like heaven, but drunker
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sext me about skeletons
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
