she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize