I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
