possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
