I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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