where does the pee come out of this thing
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
