if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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