who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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