She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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