She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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