By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
