I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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