In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
