after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
