Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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