definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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