My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
