I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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