I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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