They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
