Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
