you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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