Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
