in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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