Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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