All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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