I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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