Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I party with great urgency now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
