You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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