We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
