I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
