apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
