dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
