So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
