White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
whose parrot is this?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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