You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize