Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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